I am sorry 2 tell you that TV control room has a bad odor, they need 2 know that they cannot eat inside. Someone is dropping food on the carpet. If I find a dead mice I will put it on their desk. Make sure they flush the toilet. Before they leave the bathroom. Just kidding. SCARE them off. Sorry to bother :)
"but sir, my soul has grown tired and old, and my fingers they are stricken with the infamous laziness disease, so i am afraid, dear sir, of the following: I have lost the ability to take my credit card out of my gorgeous handcrafted wallet. And that wallet, sadly is located in the abyss that i call my purse, and that is many a walking distance away, many."
Eggolio forgot to put on deodarant. He went to school and smelled so terrible that he was laughed out of education. Who could blame him for not going back to school… He was born weak.
Eggolio did not want to go back to school EVER!!! This would cause a lot of problems at home. His mother and father liked enjoyed the personal time that existed while their precious Eggolio was at school. And now that personal time no longer existed within the day.
“Give us some space son, I am trying to have sex with your mother.”
One night Eggolios father got so enraged by the nuisance that had become of Eggolio that he even beat him to a state of near death. Who could blame him? Anyone else who was forced into this painful position would have done the same.
To add further trauma to his life after this incident, his wife kicked poor Eggolio Sr. out of the house for 3 weeks, and was stubborn to let him back in. He was angry at her for creating such an obvious cry for attention, and had difficulty even looking her in the eye, as he had lost so much respect for her. Writing this myself, I have trouble even breathing thinking about how disgraceful and attention seeking her (over)reaction was.
While being forced to sleep at a motel, it gave him creative time to think, and one day whilst working at his prestigious bread factory job, Eggolio Sr came up with the brilliant solution to solve his son’s hygiene issue, a deodorant machine.
Now, thanks to his honorable and well educated father, Eggolio is back in school and his mother and father have plenty of private time again. But most importantly, Eggolio Sr. is slowly beginning the long path to recovery of forgiving his wife for her disgusting behavior. Lets hope that he can find it in his heart to forgive her.
if i thought that in the future i would find you mildy sexually attractive i would have considered treating you like a human being ;) i realize now that i did think you were cool, it just took a lot of other people thinking you were cool for me to realize I also thought that way. LOL.
now that we have gotten over that difficult hurtle would you like to meet up with me next time you are in town to have sex? thanks :)
*disclaimer: actual letter is much much more disturbing than re-creation
“Father I want to go to the Memorial Day Parade” “I’m sorry son, but you will only be humiliated if you go like last time.” Eggolio immediately began wailing and kicking his feet against the bed as his father appropriately rolled his eyes with disgust. “DADDY I WANT TO GO TO THE PARADE!!!!!!!!!!!” Eggolio Sr could take this abuse no more. He got up to his failure of a son wailing on his bed like a beached whale and pushed his head into the pillow. “YOU WANT SEE A PARADE HUH? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH TURMOIL YOU HAVE PUT YOUR MOTHER THROUGH?” At this point Eggolio Jr was no longer breathing, and finally his tired Father could finally get a full relaxing breath of his own, after years of having the life sucked out of him by this worthless excuse of a son.
“Father. I am sick of these potatoes that possess this sog. Why cannot they be dry? Why cannot they adapt? Why cannot they…”
Father hit Eggolio Jr upside the egg with the largest potato of sog, and did so with such a force it would make even the laziest of men slowly leave the room in disgust.”
Eggolio began his nightly routine of wailing and then stomping up the stairs.His father watched Eggolio ascend the stairs, adoring his cute little romp. He threw another potatoe at the ground and began his nightly routine.
“How did you birth such a disgrace of a son? His physical qualities are decent, but he lacks brain power” She weeped, as usual.
“His romp is adorable though. I’m assuming that comes from my side of the family.”His pancake shaped wife averted her eyes to the ground with shame. She was aware of this flaw of hers, and remembered a warning that her mother gave her on her wedding day. Now this dream has come true. She threw her chair to the ground and ran into the master bedroom, her arms flailing the entire time.
Eggolio’s father’s eyes did not even bother to look at this pathetic cry for attention as he had more important things on his plate. Soggy potatoes. He took his potato eating utensil and began putting potato bits into his mouth with such sophistication that Audrey Hepburn herself would have become jealous with murderous rage. Each bite of this sweet little egg shaped edible piece of life reminded him of the monster he had created that resided in the bedroom above.