He opened his son’s bedroom door and saw a familiar yet still appalling site, his egg shaped beauty, laying a defeated round carcass on his bed, wailing like an injured seal. It took too much effort to muster up the courage that he could contribute to creating such a monstrosity. He picked up the “Best Sportsmanship” trophy on the shelf, which only awarded his son’s lack of commitment to excellence. He threw it at his wailing boy. It hit Eggolios soft back. “OWWWWWWWW! “Stop wailing like a baby and accept this attack like a man!”
"Yes, your honor, I would like to say a few words to the jury if I may. A few words indeed. The real monster is not me, ya see, but is society. In a world where female humans kiss other female humans on televised award programs, and yet the masses fail to riot, really am I responsible for my actions? Clearly, No. No, my friends….I am not responsible for my own actions. AND I WILL NOT be held responsble for my actions.”
The jurors looked at eachother after being privelidged to hear such a grand speech, and nodded in knowing agreement. The judge delicately wiped the tears from his eyes and then threw his gavel down with a fresher outlook on life and said. “I’ve heard enough. NOT GUILTY.”
He let little Jimmy back out into the world, where he continued to sexually assualt those who deserved it.
why must my life be so difficult?!!??! i have absolutely NOTHING good to wear. and i NEED to wear something flattering. i need to impress johnny. if he goes after mary instead of me, ill just die, simply die!
some good news, father said he will let me get a part-time job this summer. then i can buy whatever clothes i want.
small sad side note. i think i may be the antichrist.